Tips to Emotional Wellness for Mothers

To all Mothers, Moms, Mama's, Ma's, Me-maw's and any other titles given to you as the caregivers, and nurturer's in life. It's Your Day! Let's begin by saying hands down that motherhood alone is by far the most difficult and demanding job in the world. We often think that being the president of the United States may come close. But mothers even have the president beat. I mean after all, he has a cabinet of people around him that will take the fall for him if necessary. He has veto power, 24-hour security, maids, cooks, advisors, speechwriters, informants, a mansion, and he doesn't even have to walk his own dog if he doesn't want to. He not only has one driver, but there are several cars in the motorcade, just in case his driver were to get weary.

On the other hand, we have to begin by sharing our body with another human being, who can never appreciate that until they have to share their body. So forget telling your pregnancy stories to your kids. They can't possibly comprehend it. We are completely responsible for their life, food, clothing, and shelter. We have to cook, clean, wash, iron, shop, groom, clean up poop, wash walls, sign permission slips, coordinate schedules, taxi every child to every event, and oh did I mention wash. The tips below are to help you achieve emotional wellness and balance.

1. Organize Your Day
There is something to be said for organization. Things that are organized can flow more naturally and save a tremendous amount of time. Know what things that you have scheduled at work and home so that you won't find yourself being overwhelmed by time eaters.

2. Lose the Guilt
This emotion alone can weigh you down. It is like an invisible weight that tugs at your heart. Some working mothers feel guilty leaving their children because they have to work, while others feel guilty leaving their kids because they want to work. In either case, you wrestle with the fact that you may miss your babies first steps or you miss the school play because of a late night meeting, and heaven forbid you miss tip off at the basketball game. Understand that guilt comes along with being a mother. We can't be everywhere, do it all, and control all situations.

3. Plan Quality Family Time.
Quality family time has become a lost art. We think about family time when we plan our family vacations. That is the epitome of family time. Okay, but the vacation usually only last for a week or two. What happens with the other 50 weeks of the year? If you don't plan it, it won't just happen. Here two suggestions to get you started. 1) Plan at least 2-3 days a week where you can sit down and enjoy dinner together. That may mean the weekends but I recommend time during the week. It's a great time to keep in touch with your kids. 2) Schedule at least one day a month for family game night.

4. Set up Chores for the Family
In my last book, If I Have to Tell You One More Time, 6 Keys to Motivating Your Kids, I discuss how get kids to love to do their chores. Assigning chores and teaching your children how to clean up will not only save you money and time from having to hire someone or doing it yourself, but it also teaches them how to be responsible and prepares them for the future.

5. Don't Try to Be "Super Mom"
It's official; I give you permission to take your cape off. Somewhere in the early 80's after the commercial, I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and never, never, never let you forget you're a man, cause I'm a woman broke onto the scene, gave us this indelible notion that we can "do it all." Well, I am here to say, we can't. There are only so many hours in the day and we only so much energy to accomplish before we run out of steam. We are not like the super heroes who have been given extraordinary powers to conquer the world. So stop comparing yourself to other mom's who you may think have it all together. Just focus on what you can do and let the rest go.

Copyright- Dr. Lawana S. Gladney 2009
Excerpts from 50 Tips to Emotional Wellness For Working Mothers
For more information or to purchase a copy of You Can't Be Sick... I Have to Work – 50 Tips to Emotional Wellness for Working Mothers go to www.emotionalwellnessinc.com.