Your Friend's Loved One Just Died - Here's How To Help: Six Practical Ideas

When someone dies suddenly, or there's some other family crisis, loved ones often face an upheaval in their lives and terrible emotional strain.

In addition, whether the crisis is local or out of town, they're forced to manage an endless stream of decisions, planning, errands, details, logistics, etc. Many people end up exhausted and overwhelmed.

"Let me know if there's anything I can do..."

Here are six practical things you can do:

1. Provide or arrange transportation to and from the airport or train station. If the crisis is located in your local area, have your friend outsource transportation of his or her inbound friends and family to you (delegate to others as needed). Tell your friend to give out your name, telephone number and email address to everyone in need of transportation. It's important to communicate clearly and stay organized. Research options for those who prefer to rent vehicles or use taxi or car services.

2. Provide or arrange housing for incoming friends & family. Again, have your friend outsource all of this to you and give out your name, home & mobile phone numbers and email address to everyone in need of housing. Do some research and create a list with several options, outlining prices, proximity to relevant locations, availability, etc. Consider reserving a block of rooms at a group rate, though be careful to avoid a situation where you end up paying fees or penalties.

3. Provide baby-sitting/supervision/entertainment for children. Whether for your friend's own children or for the children of people visiting from out of town, this can be very helpful.

4. Answer the telephone at your friend's house. There may be more than a hundred calls per day during a crisis, many of which are simple requests for information (dates, addresses, directions, etc.). Managing even half of these calls can be extremely helpful. Depending upon your friendship and your friend's wishes for privacy, consider offering the same help with your friend's email.

5. House and care for your friend's pets. Your friend's pets might become a burden during a crisis. Make sure you are comfortable with the animals and able to properly care for them.

6. Be a chauffer "go-fer" and helping hand throughout the crisis. Get your friend's car washed & cleaned, pick-up groceries & dry cleaning, shuttle kids to school and activities, drive out-of-town people to and from locations, etc.

"Thank you so much for allowing me to help." These words will ensure your friend knows how sincere you are (many people have difficulty accepting assistance, even when it's badly needed).

From the publisher of "The It's All Right Here Life & Affairs Organizer"
by Mark Gavagan & Patricia M. Kimble, LCSWR
www.AffairsOrganizer.com